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When Breastfeeding Doesn't Come Easy

Tips for Sticking With It

Most moms know that breastfeeding is the best way to feed a baby, and many expectant moms plan to nurse their little ones. However, new moms are surprised at just how difficult breastfeeding can be to establish. After all, new moms don't have any experience with nursing, and babies don't automatically know what to do. In those first few days, you may experience problems with engorgement and getting your baby latched on, which many moms don't anticipate.

"I anticipated the pain, so that wasn't surprising, but I never anticipated the difficulty getting her latched on or that she would be physically unable to do it," says Shani Pinkerton, a mom from San Antonio, Texas, whose daughter was born with a tongue tie that made latching on difficult. "I never considered that a possibility."

Other moms experience problems with their milk supply, which may also make nursing difficult to establish. "It took several days for my milk to come in," says Brette Sember, a mom from Clarence, N.Y., and author of Your Plus-Size Pregnancy (Barricade Books, 2005). "My babies initially weren't interested in nursing, since there wasn't much there for them to get. It took a lot of work with a lactation consultant to get things going."

When you are trying to establish nursing, it's important to realize that many moms go through this, and in most cases, you can overcome the challenges and go on to nurse your baby successfully. The key is to know how to prepare for breastfeeding and where to find help when the time comes.

Be Prepared
Many moms make the mistake of assuming that breastfeeding is natural and therefore easy to do, but this isn't always the case. "Making milk is natural; breastfeeding is a skill that mothers and babies have to learn," says Amy Spangler, IBCLC, a lactation consultant in Atlanta, Ga. Breastfeeding doesn't come easy for everyone, and any new skill requires practice and preparation.

"The secret to any parenting skill is having realistic expectations and learning all you can before the baby is born," says Spangler. Read everything you can, and read from different sources. Attend a prenatal breastfeeding class, talk to other moms who breastfeed about their experiences and attend a La Leche League meeting or other support group that's offered in your area.

Once your baby is here, you have to be persistent with breastfeeding, and you have to keep practicing until you both get the hang of it. "Babies don't know what's good for them, and if they've had a bottle in the early days, then they may not understand what you're trying to do," says Spangler. Much of your experience and the ease of breastfeeding will depend on what happens early on in your baby's life. This means that what happens in the hospital is critical. Even if you don't get your baby latched on at first, let your baby feel your skin next to his face within the first hour of birth, so later when you try to nurse the feeling will be familiar.

Find Help and Support
Your milk usually comes in after you leave the hospital, and if you become engorged, latching on may become more difficult for your baby. This is where a solid support system becomes critical. In most cases, your partner, or the baby's father, is the most important support person, so Dad needs to know the basics of breastfeeding and understand why it is important. You should also have a list of people you can call in case you run into trouble.

Talk to your healthcare provider about where to find support in your area. Most communities have a La Leche League and lactation consultants that can take calls and even come to your house if necessary. There are support groups that meet at many local hospitals or other facilities. You can also find contact information for lactation consultants and La Leche League leaders via Web site directories and searches, and if you know any moms who have experience breastfeeding, they may be able to help you get your baby latched on properly.

Enlist a Good Pediatrician
If your baby is having difficulty eating, the pediatrician should know about it. The doctor will want to check for signs of dehydration and excessive weight loss. And although most pediatricians support a mother's decision to breastfeed, they may recommend supplementation if you are having problems. "Supplementation may be medically necessary, but it doesn't have to be formula," says Pamela Holland, IBCLC, a lactation consultant at St. Joseph's Candler Hospital in Savannah, Ga. "You can supplement with expressed milk."

You should keep in mind that a recommendation for formula impacts your milk supply. If your baby's pediatrician does recommend supplementation with formula, you have the right to research other avenues and to make certain the recommendation is not the byproduct of breastfeeding ignorance. Breastfeeding experts are not necessarily medical doctors, and medical doctors are not necessarily breastfeeding experts. Talk to a lactation consultant, or search out a pediatrician who is also an international board certified lactation consultant (IBCLC). If supplementation with formula is determined to be the only way, then talk to a lactation consultant about how to maintain your milk supply until formula is no longer necessary.

The Pumping Alternative
Just because you can't get your baby latched on to nurse doesn't mean formula is your only other option. "If we've told you that breastfeeding is the best food for your baby and that it's superior to formula, then what about all those women who can't get their baby latched on?" says Holland. "Do they have to feed their babies substandard food?" If medical professionals are going to sell breastfeeding to American culture, then there has to be another way to achieve success than putting baby to breast.

"So much of the literature written about breastfeeding says that it can only be done one way," says Holland. "But there are many ways to achieve breastfeeding success." What's most important is that you and your baby find a way that works for you, and that may mean pumping for an extended period of time.

Pumping and feeding the expressed milk from a bottle is breastfeeding success if it works for you and your baby. With the right pump, you can realistically keep this up for an extended period of time. If you can't get your baby latched on for whatever reason, that doesn't necessarily mean that you can't feed your baby breast milk.

If you do end up bottle-feeding your baby, you can still use it as an opportunity to bond. Hold your baby close, and use skin-to-skin contact. Make eye contact and groom your baby. "All those things are important about breastfeeding, not just the breast milk," says Holland.

If breastfeeding your baby is important to you, then chances are you'll be able to make it work. "A highly motivated mother will overcome all obstacles," says Spangler. Just stick with it, and realize that any amount of breast milk for any amount of time puts your baby at an advantage.

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