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Staying Positive Through
Your Plus-Size Pregnancy
Pregnancy is probably one of the most gracious events
in your life – you’ve turned your body over to this new
little being with complete welcome and joy. But
when you’re plus-sized and pregnant, you’re not only
facing all the usual pregnancy challenges – tiredness,
nausea, nervousness, impatience, and discomfort – you
also have to deal with what the world thinks of you and
your size. Although there is more and more
acceptance of plus-sized women, there is still a real
barrier there. How do you deal with the challenges
facing you and still remain gracious, happy, and joyful
about your pregnancy?
Dress for Yourself
There are very few stores that actually sell
plus-size maternity clothes and those that do are sure
to hide them in the back corner. The clothes you
might find are often several years behind other styles
and many are made with huge arms, giant necklines and
oversized armholes – they might fit King Kong, but not
your average plus-sized woman. If you do venture
into a store that doesn’t carry your size you might
encounter a salesperson who is obviously rude or
inconsiderate to you.
Just because your local maternity store does not
consider you a viable customer does not mean you can’t
dress well during pregnancy. There are many online
plus-size maternity stores, mostly run by plus-size moms
who saw the need and stepped in to fill it. These
store owners are usually willing to help you find a good
fit and may even be able to custom make clothing just
for you. Ebay is another great place to shop.
You can also buy larger size regular clothing and
create a maternity wardrobe that way. These types
of clothing are more apt to be in today’s styles and
offer you the freedom to dress to your own sense of
style. Forget “Baby on Board” and wear low rider
pants, belly baring shirts and anything else that makes
you feel beautiful, gorgeous, and sexy. Give
yourself permission to look great and feel great
throughout your pregnancy.
Ask Your Health Care
Providers for What You Need
A plus-size woman usually needs a larger size blood
pressure cuff, not only for comfort, but also to ensure
an accurate reading. A cuff that is too tight is
going to give a false high reading. Unfortunately,
many doctor’s offices have no large cuff, or don’t have
enough. If a health care provider tries to use a
cuff that is too small, politely ask if they have one
that is larger. Gently insist that they find it
for you because you are aware of the impact a small cuff
can have on your reading.
Many offices also do not have gowns sized
appropriately to cover larger bodies. First ask if
they have a larger size. If not, ask for two gowns
and wear one open in the back and one open in the front
for complete coverage. When you go to the hospital
to give birth, you can bring along an oversize
button-front shirt to wear if you’d like.
There are still health care providers who are not
completely educated about how best to care for and talk
to plus-size pregnant women. Some plus-size women
are hesitant to speak up when they encounter someone
like this, but the fact of the matter is that you are
entitled to have someone who treats you with
graciousness and compassion during pregnancy.
Switch providers if necessary and don’t be afraid to
speak up if you feel you’re being treated in an
unfriendly way. One important thing I learned
while researching my book, Your Plus-Size
Pregnancy: The Ultimate Guide for the Full-Figured
Expectant Mom was that there are some health
care providers who find caring for a plus-size woman
stressful – particularly during delivery where important
decisions have to be made quickly. Some health
care providers react to the stress of the situation by
treating their patients in a gruff or unpleasant
manner. Often if you point this out, the provider
realizes what he or she is doing and can make an
adjustment.
If you encounter aides or nurses who are unfriendly
to you, a simple word to your main health care provider
will take care of this problem – it’s her office and she
knows that her staff represents her. |
Ask Questions
Some health care providers require their pregnant
curvy moms to endure regular gestational diabetes tests,
recommend scheduled C-sections, or discourage them from
breastfeeding, even when medical standards contradict
these actions. Being plus-sized does not mean
you’re sick or unable to have a healthy pregnancy.
All pregnant women want doctors who look out for their
best interests, but it’s time obstetricians and midwives
realize that plus-size women are not all walking time
bombs.
If your health care provider recommends something for
you that you know is out of the ordinary and is not
something required in most pregnancies, put the brakes
on and ask your health care provider to take some time
and talk with you about why this recommended, what the
real risks and benefits are, and how your care will be
handled if you decline this recommendation. You
have the right to make the decisions about your own
body.
Working with your pregnancy health care provider
should be a partnership – one that includes mutual
respect. You can’t be a partner if you’re in the
dark about your care. Become an active participant
in your care, and be sure to express your reservations
and concerns at any point should they come up. If
you both are gracious with each other, your relationship
will be one of mutual trust.
Find Your Own Comfort
Zone
All pregnant women go through a stage when they don’t
yet truly look pregnant, but instead look bloated or
chunkier. Curvy moms sometimes find this stage
lasts longer for them, and even when they do begin to
show, some people assume they’ve just eaten too many hot
fudge sundaes.
While writing my book, I interviewed hundreds of
plus-size women, and many reported incidents in which
people made rude comments and assumed they were just fat
and not pregnant. One woman I talked to was at the
mall one day, seven months pregnant, and someone walked
past her and said to his companion, “Someone needs to
call 1-800-Jenny.”
Curvy moms just want the opportunity to enjoy their
pregnancies and walk down the street without people
rolling their eyes at them. You can’t control the
way people act or what they say to you, but you can
control how it makes you feel and how you react to
it. Carrying your head high and feeling proud of
the incredible work your body is doing will help you
remain positive even when others try to bring you
down.
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